Thursday, 5 January 2012

The Hobbit Read-Along, Chapter Thirteen

Previous chapters: Intro | Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 | Ch11 | Ch12 |

The dwarves, waiting inside the mountain

After sitting around for a few days in pitch darkness (these dwarves do like sitting around a lot. Why didn't they bring some tea and cakes with them? At least they could sit around and mope in style then) when the dragon doesn't return for a while, the dwarves finally venture further down, inside the mountain, closer to the dragons lair. This might have been brave of them if the dragon hadn't blocked the way out and then disappeared, giving them little choice in the matter and little danger to face.
Anyway, they finally venture further into the mountain and into the dragon's lair and since Smaug is missing, they take their time rummaging through the gold and treasure. Thorin seems to be looking for something in particular, probably the Arkenstone, which Bilbo has already found and taken but decided to keep quiet about for some reason.
A depiction of the Arkenstone by Whitney Marie Travis
They venture to the main entrance of the mountain, then up to a hidey hole/lookout for... I'm not really sure why they went there to be honest.
Seriously, you guys are the worse treasure hunters ever! This book should be called “How Not To Steal A Fortune”. Better still, “How to Play Hide and Seek with a Dragon”.
I really wish something would happen, someone would come up with a plan, Gandalf might return and have some kind of idea for how to kill Smaug or smuggle the treasure out.
I think someone needs to ask!
Why don't they blow up or collapse the entrance to the mountain so that Smaug is cut off from his hoard and kept out of the mountain? Why don't they forage for something flammable to douse Smaug in, since it's doubtful he's completely fire proof, even if he is a dragon. And even supposing he is entirely flame proof, trick him into drinking the stuff then the first time he breaths fire, he'll cook from the inside out. Why don't they consider using poison or infection? Why did no one think to bring a flask of the black water in the forest that sends people (and hopefully dragons) to sleep? 

A truly heroic dwarf would at this point be eating something poisonous to dragons and getting himself eaten. Problem solved! 
Oh, and Bilbo is back to moaning about not having regular meals again. This food fixation is really starting to get on my nerves. On the one hand they have a big scary dragon who wants to eat them, on the other, they missed a second breakfast. I think their priorities are wrong.

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