Wednesday, 30 May 2012

The Feminist Tightrope

Natural large breasts
We feminists all walk a tightrope between our feminism and our desires.

Damn it, I want to be pretty, even while knowing that the image of beauty that we are presented with applies only to 5% of the population, and I shall NEVER achieve it! Beauty is something that we have been taught to want however, rather that comes naturally to everyone, and as I come to terms with this fact, there are times that I am willing to bite the bullet and go against the herd mentality.

I have big breasts and bra's hurt me, so on Sunday I finally made the decision that it didn't matter if my breasts weren't perky and perfect, I wasn't going to keep strapping a bra on and off just to walk the dogs, so that I can fool the world into believing that my bosoms are perfect and perky. They are my breasts, their look and appearance was decided by my DNA, and there is nothing wrong with them, damn it, except that they don't live up to this foolish 21st century ideal.

Real vs Photoshopped Maria.
And let's face it, many of the perfect breasts that we are supposed to live up to aren't even real, having been enhanced by either surgery or photoshop! These are the breasts I was born with, and damn it, big (natural) boobs tend to sag! 

Two days later I see a female friend (who shall remain nameless) tweeting about how, thanks to the warm weather, there were so many awful, bra-less women about with, well I'll let you read it

My god you see some sights in [redacted]! Bra-less boobs hanging round the waist! #notagoodlook
Needless to say my new found feeling of freedom disappeared, and I simply feel self-conscious and awkward again. Now I am back to hiding under a bulky coat (despite the temperature), rather that strapping the painful, perky-breast-maker back on again.

We are our own worse enemies, and that is an important realisation to come by. Just because we are women, doesn't mean that we haven't been indoctrinated by the patriarchal society that we live in. At least once we understand that, we can begin to start making informed decisions about what rules we want to follow, and why we want to follow them.

Which is more frightening, the ever increasing hair or bust?
In a few weeks I will probably manage to once again convince myself that there is nothing wrong with my perfectly natural breasts, but I cant help but wonder how long it will be until another "harmless" (and thoughtless) remark sends me running back for the bulky coat/camouflage.

While we're on this subject, Can I just ask why there are no posts about men and their exposed moobs, beer bellies and white chicken legs? Personally I don't find those things attractive but then again, I accept that men not only can be more than just a physical presence (attractive or otherwise) but that they should be more than that, as well rounded human beings. I expect them to have goals and aspirations that have nothing to do with looking good so that they might be appreciated by the opposite sex. As such, it doesn't really bother me if men are imperfect.

I apply that same standard to women. I wish more of us did.


  1. I feel like the fashion industry makes it harder and harder for us. I saw an article in the Guardian recently about "side cleavage" as a style trend and how it was very hard to achieve even with plastic surgery ... made me sigh.

    I also have very large breasts and have been lucky not to have been cursed with backaches (though I attribute this to some extent to wearing industrial strength bras, not to entice, but just to sort of control the movement. My grad school boyfriend the physicist said once it was fascinating to watch me play frisbee because I was always correcting for my upper center of gravity ...) and also lucky to find partners who appreciate the benefits. As I get older (and am now partnerless), the whole "shape" question is of less interest to me and I am learning to ignore others' remarks.

  2. Sorry for the delayed comment; just now seeing this.

    Why are there no posts about mens' moobs, etc.? Simple. Looks is not where a man's power lies. Whether right or wrong (and I have decided mixed emotions about this), society confers power on women by virtue of how they look. No great revelation you say? No, it's not, but it's unrelentingly true. What I hate most about this is the fantastic people who many miss out on because their packaging is not to taste. Then again, anyone shallow enough to judge someone by their outer shell, maybe shouldn't be blessed enough to know some fantastic people.

  3. Pardon my subject verb disagreement, I'm tired. :D